Tigerstar Destroys Innocent Arteries
by Natalia-Chan
Summary: What happens when Tigerstar opens a McDonalds? will people and or cats possibly DIE! Find out as you go on the adventures of Hollyleaf, Nightcloud, Sandstorm, Spotty, and a cereal-obsessed goddess!
1. The insanity Begins

****

Spotty: Hi! You are about to read a story written by an insane authoress!

**Demeter: Am I in it? Do I advertise cereal?**

**Spotty: Yes, Demeter. You advertise cereal. **

**Hollyleaf: The warrior code is awesome!**

**Spotty: I, Spottedphantom, do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Warriors, or McDonalds. **

* * *

It had been years since Tigerstar died, though he had been even more evil in the

dark forest. But this is not a story of Tigerstar's death, it is a story of Tigerstar's arteryclogging

evil scheme. Tigerstar was opening a McDonalds! Muahahahaha!

Cashiers:

Cinderheart

Jayfeather

Lionblaze

Chef:

Sandstorm

Manager:

Tigerstar

Assistant Manager:

Hawkfrost

Chef-in-training:

Dovepaw

Hollyleaf walked into the new McDonalds with Nightcloud, the two of them laughing

hysterically for very different reasons. Hollyleaf had created a new "How to Support the

Code" pamphlet. Nightcloud had just gotten out of the asylum and had "forgotten" to

take her meds. The two insane (bad insanity) she-cats both decided to order

mouseburgers from the strange menu. They also purchased diet stream water, which

would have been good for them if it didn't contain high fructose corn syrup.

Immediately, Hollyleaf began passing out her pamphlets. "Support the warrior code,"

she screamed, but no one except for Spottedleaf heard (yes, Spottedleaf is at

McDonalds), and she told Hollyleaf to be quiet, she was busy eating a chocolate truffle.

The truffle was shaped like a penguin.

Resonating from the kitchen, a scream could be heard. "I want my cookies,"

screamed Hammy the squirrel. "No," yelled Sandstorm. "You want to become a

squirrelburger!" "This is against the code," shrieked Hollyleaf. "We must follow the

code!" "How many times must I tell you to BE QUIET!," said Spottedleaf. "I'm trying to

enjoy a truffle! Yes, I admit it, I AM OBSESSED WITH TRUFFLES!"

"I'll sing to ease the tension!" said Nightcloud, in an overly peppy voice. "This is for

you, Crowfeather!"

I am a frog

A groggy froggy frog

I am an awesome

Groggy froggy frog!

"What is that horrible ruckus?" said Tigerstar. "Back in my day, WindClan cats ate

cereal." said Demeter. "What is it with you and cereal?" said Spottedleaf. "Cereal is

good for you!" replied Demeter, in a voice that said 'this is obvious'. "Actually," said

Leafpool. "It is very bad for you. Eating mainly cereal for any meal is unhealthy."

"Hey, psycho," said Nightcloud. How come we can understand you. I mean, you are

a twoleg." "For your information, I am a goddess. This is why we can understand each

other. Also, I am not a psycho. You are...for not eating cereal!"


	2. Introducing Me!

Spotty: Yes, my pen name is AnonymousWolfie but I will still go by Spotty, thank you very much.

Demeter: Hey! You made me look like a phsycho!

Spotty: No, you did that yourself. Liik, I don't have the time to deal with a cereal-obsessed goddess who forgot to take her meds!

Dovewing: Uh, Spotty doesn't own McDonalds, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, or Warriors.

* * *

Spotty: If I did, well, let's just say that our lives would have changed. *Glares at Demeter and Nightcloud* A lot.

Demeter's last words rang in her ears and Dovewing burst into tears. "How can I eat cereal," she sniffled, "if I don't even KNOW WHAT IT IS!"

"Well" said Demeter. "Cereal is...well, it's just cereal."

"Enough, you two!" screeched Sandstorm. "You, creepy goddess. Leave! You're scaring away my customers. And you, Dovewing. BUY SOMETHING OR SCRAM! I have to make money, you know. I don't know if I'll be able to order the deluxe retirement package at this rate!"

"Hey!" yelled Nightcloud. "I dunno bout u ThunderClan freaks, but in WindClan, if you're the leader's mate you don't have to pay for retirement benefits!"

"Well, I like being equal to my family, unlike you WindClan rouges!"

"Both of you have bad retirement compared to NatureClan," said Spotty.

"What do you know, Spottedstar?" scoffed the she-cats.

"What do **I** know? What do **I **know?" said Spotty, or Spottedstar, whichever you prefer. "Oh, I know plenty, like how you, Nightcloud, are about to die of a heart attack.

"That's imposs..." began Sandstorm, but stopped as Nightcloud dropped dead of a heart attack. "Wowzas!" said Sandstorm.

"I know, right," said Spotty. "I didn't think it would actually work!"

"Bomb, anyone?" said Hollyleaf as she tried to sell a bomb to Sandstorm and Spotty.

* * *

"Sure," said the she-cats who were developing a fast friendship. "We know _just_ how to use it..."

Sandstorm: Ugh! A cliffhanger. Why, Spotty, why?

Spotty:You'll see Muahahahahahahahahahahah!


	3. Fun With Bombs

Spotty: Well, Sandstorm and I have something evil planned, don't we.

Sandstorm: We do, Spotty?

Spotty: Shhhh! I was trying to impress our fans into reviewing! Go on! Click the little button...

Sandstorm: Yeah! We know JUST what to do with the bomb we bought...

Spotty: We do?

Sandstorm: Uggggh!

Hollyleaf: Yay code!

* * *

Sandstorm: Spotty doesn't own McDonalds or Warriors.

Spotty and Sandstorm were trying to figure out just what to do with the bomb when Jayfeather burst in. "Sandstorm!" he puffed. "I just found out that the clan is reducing my Healy-Care benefits! I was wondering if you could talk to Firestar to me, you know, a medicine cat has gotta get his benefits."

"Now!" screeched Spotty. Sandstorm dropped the bomb on Jayfeather and ducked out of the way as it exploded. The two she-cats came back a moment later and found Jayfeather's corpse lying on the floor with Firestar standing next to it. "He was pestering us!" complained Spotty and Sandstorm.

"Alright...Whatever," said Firestar as he walked out of theouple of grilled McDonalds.

"Awwww," said Sandstorm. "Poppyfrost liked him. Now she's gonna be heartbroken!"

"Nah," said Spotty. "There are two options. We could actually kill him and get her a new match, or we could revive him from the stink-bomb."

"He's not dead?" said a very surprised Sandstorm.

"Nope," said Spotty. "just knocked out from the extremely concentrated stink-bomb blast."

"Well, since Poppyfrost is always nice to me, lets revive him, but if he's mean to her, then we kill him."

* * *

"Nice choice," said Spotty. "Now, we'll revive him and set up a date for Poppyfrost and Jayfeather just as soon as we finish a couple of grilled rats."

Sandstorm: That's it?

Spotty: Sorry. I had to end it there.

Sandstorm: Meh.

Spotty: Anyways, please review!

Sandstorm: Hey, u gonna eat your rat?

Spotty: Nah, you can have it. Btw, please read and review my other story, Phobias, Nutters, and a Little Love. Thanks!


End file.
